2021: A year of Love, Labour and Loss

Love is a mystery. Love is unitive. Love is how we connect as human beings with one another and with the whole universe together. Love is how we learn, become better, and make the world a better place to live for us and others. Love needs freedom to breathe, equality to thrive, and openness to flow and grow. Love is personal, political, philosophical, social, historical, metaphysical, transcendental, et al. Sadly, we have only one word to describe such a complex emotion. The ancient Greeks had six different words, but even that’s not enough. 2021 taught me new ways to describe the complexity of love and its various hues. Love lost on many counts, but it miraculously sprang on a few occasions like a phoenix. My LOVE vocabulary was defined and redefined by people who touched my life one way or another this year.

shillpi a singh

LOVE IS LONELY: Divya Juyal

“Love is so short, forgetting is so long.”

Pablo neruda

Dear Ashish

I wish you could listen to the songs I am playing on a loop because the lyrics speak the words I fail to say, but I want you to know how much it hurts me to let you go. 

You were in such a tearing hurry to leave that you never bothered to give a second thought about how I would cope without you or how children would grow up without their father? We are keeping our chin up for you, but it is easier said than done. Living has become such a drag!  

LOVE IS LONELY: Divya and Aashish Juyal

I would have, like usual, enjoyed the music when you were around, but now I understand the lyrics, and the words pierce like an ice dagger, wounding my heart and leaving it bleeding profusely. The words speak the language of my love and longing for you. 

On most nights, I cry myself to sleep. The glare of the day controls my tears, holds them tight in my eyes, but the night gives them away. So as the silence of the night descends, my tears are on their own again. They flow like a river in rage, walloping over my cheeks, wreaking havoc on my emotions, and leaving me more broken than before. 

You taught us the art of living, but you forgot to give us lessons in the art of leaving. I must tell you that I am not living. I am simply existing. It feels like a war, like a perfect goddamn storm. It seems like the sky is falling in, and I’m the only one to bear the load that I don’t want to. I might not find the words to say, but this song says it for me.

And out of the dark, I hear a voice speaking sense, saying, even love can be so lonely at times. Yes, it is very very lonely without you.

With love, 

Divya

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