Tag Archives: love

Growing and Rising in Love: Moving Beyond the Fall

Pyar mein giro mat bachche … utho, rise in love.

Sushma seth, Taal

Today’s society often focuses on the initial stages of romantic relationships, glorifying the passionate rush of falling in love. However, many fail to realize that sustaining love requires effort and dedication. While falling in love is easy and exhilarating, growing in love is a lifelong journey that demands maturity, understanding, and commitment. This article delves into the significance of transitioning from a mere feeling of love to a practice of love, highlighting the rewards and challenges of nurturing and evolving a deep connection.

Understanding Love as a Practice, Not Just a Feeling: Love is often mistakenly perceived as a fleeting emotion, something we stumble into by chance. However, true love extends beyond transient feelings and requires ongoing cultivation. It is a conscious decision and commitment to be the best versions of ourselves, both individually and as partners. Recognizing this paradigm shift is crucial to embracing growth and rising in love.

Navigating Conflict and Changes: Every relationship is bound to encounter conflicts and experience changes over time. Understanding that conflicts are not signs of a failing relationship but rather growth opportunities is essential. The initial hormonal rush inevitably subsides, giving way to a more stable and grounded connection. Instead of chasing the fading euphoria, couples who grow in love learn to adapt and find new ways to nurture their bond.

Embracing the Beauty of Growth: Growing in love requires maturity, acknowledging that our partner cannot be responsible for our happiness. It entails accepting that disappointments and disagreements are natural aspects of any relationship. There may be times when both partners are not on the same page or moments of boredom need to be addressed. It is through these challenges that love is tested and fortified.

Nurturing the Relationship: A thriving relationship demands constant nourishment. Growing in love means investing time and effort in self-reflection and recognizing areas within ourselves that require work. It involves being comfortable with occasional discomfort and periods where the emotional connection may wane. Moreover, it requires a willingness to give and receive, understanding that equality is not always about a perfect balance but meeting each other’s needs differently.

The Journey of Growth: While growing in love may not always be easy, it is a beautiful process that offers tremendous rewards. It can be an intense and transformative experience that unearths old wounds, triggering emotional responses from the past. However, it is through these challenges that trust, security, safety, and a joy-filled connection can be established, fostering a deep bond that withstands the test of time.

Moving beyond the initial stage of falling in love, growing and rising in love requires a shift in mindset and a commitment to continuous personal and relational development. Love is not merely a fleeting feeling but an ongoing practice that demands dedication, understanding, and the willingness to navigate challenges together. By embracing the beauty of growth and nurturing our relationships, we can cultivate profound connections that enrich our lives and create lasting happiness.

Beware of breadcrumbers! A toxic lot, they can leave a relationship starving.

In the realm of modern dating and relationships, breadcrumbing has emerged as a common and frustrating practice. Breadcrumbing refers to the practice of intermittently giving attention, communication, or affection to someone while lacking genuine intentions for a committed relationship. Discover how breadcrumbing keeps individuals on the periphery, with sporadic messages, occasional dates, and displays of affection that lead nowhere. Whether experienced in online or offline relationships, breadcrumbing can leave you feeling confused and emotionally drained.

Signs and Symptoms of Breadcrumbing: Recognizing the signs of breadcrumbing is crucial to protect yourself from potential heartbreak. Understand the common indicators of this practice:

  1. Inconsistent communication: Breadcrumbers engage in sporadic texting or messaging, making you wait for their responses or providing vague replies.
  2. Mixed signals: They send flirtatious or affectionate messages, but their actions contradict their words. Their interest and commitment may fluctuate.
  3. Lack of initiation: Breadcrumbers rarely take the lead in progressing the relationship or initiating plans, relying on you to maintain the connection.
  4. Minimal effort: They invest minimal effort into the relationship, such as occasional compliments, infrequent dates, or superficial conversations.
  5. Excuses and postponements: Breadcrumbers frequently cancel plans or make excuses to avoid committing to future arrangements, leaving you feeling frustrated and uncertain.

Safeguarding Against Breadcrumbing: Protecting yourself from breadcrumbing requires awareness and proactive steps. Implement the following strategies:

  1. Recognize the signs: Educate yourself about the signs of breadcrumbing to identify if you are experiencing it. Awareness is key to protecting yourself.
  2. Trust your intuition: Listen to your instincts. If something feels inconsistent or off, address your concerns with the other person and trust your inner voice.
  3. Communicate your expectations: Be clear about your desires and intentions. Openly communicate your needs and boundaries to filter out potential breadcrumbers.
  4. Set boundaries: Establish and assertively communicate your boundaries. Breadcrumbers thrive on relationship ambiguity, so defining your limits can deter such behaviour.
  5. Focus on reciprocity: Assess if the other person reciprocates your efforts and interest. A healthy relationship requires equal investment from both parties.
  6. Prioritize self-care: Invest time and energy in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize personal growth to build resilience and self-worth.
  7. Don’t settle for breadcrumbs: Recognize your value and worth. Refuse to accept half-hearted attention or inconsistent behaviour. Be willing to walk away from relationships that do not meet your needs.
  8. Take time for reflection: Step back and reflect on the relationship if you suspect breadcrumbing. Assess if it aligns with your long-term goals and values.
  9. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to share your experiences and gain perspective. Having a support system provides guidance and emotional support during challenging times.

Understanding breadcrumbing and implementing strategies to safeguard yourself can protect your emotional well-being and cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Remember, you deserve genuine love and commitment, not mere breadcrumbs. Safeguard your heart and navigate breadcrumbing with confidence.

The Eternal Love Story

The full moon in July 2023, known as the Buck Moon, will occur on July 3. It will be visible for three days. This full moon is also a supermoon, appearing larger and more vibrant due to its proximity to Earth during perigee.

Three of Us!

Have you ever wondered about the fascinating connection between the moon and the dramatic tides that grace the shores? Join us as we dive into a captivating myth that sheds light on this celestial phenomenon.

In ancient times, the Gods reigned supreme over the sky, the earth, and the seas, each realm governed by a distinct deity. It was a harmonious era when their story unfolded. Atop the celestial sphere, the Sun God held dominion over the skies, basking in the glory of his golden chariot as he surveyed his celestial kingdom. His beloved daughter, Luna, adorned the night sky as the radiant moon, embarking on celestial sojourns in her shimmering silver chariot whenever her father retired.

One moonlit night, Luna embarked on an uncharted path, venturing closer to where the vast sky meets the boundless ocean. The mesmerizing expanse of shimmering waters enchanted her, reminiscent of her ethereal abode.

As Luna stood captivated by the scene, she sensed an intriguing presence observing her every move. A young man, bearing a golden hue akin to her father’s brilliance, sat upon a rock, casting his gaze upon her. Initially cautious of the handsome stranger, Luna contemplated leaving the scene. However, his warm smile enticed her to stay.

Curiosity piqued, Luna inquired about his identity, revealing her divine lineage as the daughter of the Sky God. The young man, Mar, proudly disclosed that he was the son of the Sea God. This encounter marked the genesis of an extraordinary friendship.

Mar regaled Luna with captivating tales of the vast ocean and its wonders, while Luna reciprocated by sharing the celestial chronicles from her realm. Night after night, they revelled in the joy of storytelling, forging a profound bond.

Soon, their affection blossomed into love, prompting Luna to confide in her cousin about her clandestine romance with Mar. Unbeknownst to her, her cousin betrayed her trust by promptly informing her uncle.

The wrath of the Sun God blazed like his scorching golden rays when he learned of Luna’s transgressions. He summoned his daughter, vehemently admonishing her for violating the sacred laws that governed their celestial existence. Luna, pleading for understanding, professed her love for Mar, who, like her, hailed from divine origins.

Despite her pleas, the Sun God remained relentless in his anger, confining Luna within the confines of a garden. Meanwhile, a messenger was dispatched to deliver the news to the Sea God, who reacted with fury upon discovering his son’s forbidden affection. Mar, too, found himself imprisoned within a secluded sea cave, bearing the weight of his father’s disapproval.

Separated and consumed by longing, Luna and Mar yearned for each other’s presence. One fateful night, driven by an unquenchable desire to reunite, Luna orchestrated her daring escape from the garden, embarking on a celestial odyssey in her silver chariot toward the vast sea. From his secluded cavern, Mar caught sight of Luna’s ethereal reflection glistening upon the ocean’s surface, intensifying his longing to be reunited with his beloved.

Although Mar’s attempts to break free from his watery prison proved futile, his ardent struggle caused the waves to surge and swell with newfound vigour. The ocean roared in restless turmoil, mirroring the depth of their love and yearning.

Heartbroken, Luna returned to the heavens at daybreak, denied even a glimpse of her beloved Mar. There, she remained in a state of melancholy and desolation. Yet, whenever thoughts of Mar consumed her, Luna would descend swiftly in her silver chariot, hoping against hope for his liberation. Alas, Mar’s confinement persisted, and with each futile attempt to break free, the sea responded with heaving tides. Thus, the magnificent ebb and flow of the tides came into existence, forever entwined with the tale of Luna and Mar.

The enchanting celestial romance of Luna and Mar and its profound impact on the rhythmic dance of the ocean’s ebb and flow… That’s an eternal love story and one for keeps.

Past Lives: ‘What a good story this is!’

Director and Writer:

Celine Song

Cast:

  • Greta Lee as Nora
  • Teo Yoo as Hae Sung
  • John Maharo as Arthur
  • Moon Seung-ah as Young Nora
  • Leem Seung-min as Young Hae Sung
The trailer of Past Lives; The film releases in India on July 7, 2023.

Celine Song’s “Past Lives” tugs at one’s heartstrings. The film by the Korean-Canadian filmmaker explores the complexities of human existence and the Korean concept of In-yun, the belief that souls can be inextricably linked through thousands of reincarnations but that the nature of their connection can shift from life to life.
The film opens with an unseen character (voice) asking, “Who do you think they are to each other?” while observing the three protagonists, Nora, Hae Sung, and Arthur, sitting across a bar late at night, engrossed in a deeply animated conversation with the East Asian lady flanked by an East Asian and White (American) men. This question is an access point into the complex tale and takes the audience straight into the past and present worlds of Na Young or Nora and Hae Sung, two deeply connected childhood friends from Seoul, who meet in New York twenty-four years later, and Nora’s Jewish American husband, Arthur. The Korean-American Nora navigates the two worlds when the twain meet and doubles up as a translator for Hae, whose English is poor, and Arthur, whose Korean is basic, to help them converse easily.

More here: https://www.instagram.com/pastlivesmovie/?hl=en
There are two love stories, running parallelly through the entire runtime of 146 minutes, with both feeding into each other, yet showing us how truly distinct, in magnitude and scale, spread and width, geographically and emotionally close and distant, these two love tracks are from each other.


In no time, the story shifts to Seoul in South Korea, with 12-year-old children (a boy and a girl) walking home after school. The girl is grumpy while the boy is playful, dribbling his basketball all along because he, for once, could beat the girl at the grades and stood first in the class. He calls her a psycho and moves on. At home, the girl’s family is busy prepping to emigrate to Canada, and the girl and her sibling get engrossed in finalising their English names. The girl’s mother asks her if she likes anyone in her class, to which the 12-year-old sheepishly confesses that she does like a boy with whom she will get married when she grows up. The mother proposes to take them together on a date, which she heartily accepts with a shy grin.


The kids and their mothers meet, and the scene with the girl holding the boy’s hand and sleeping in the backseat while resting her head on his shoulder is symbolic in multiple ways. Nora’s mother’s profound statement to Hae’s mom — “If you leave something behind, you gain something, too” — becomes the guiding light of the young girl’s life, from Seoul to Ontario, from Ontario to New York. Life zips past their childhood, separating them across space and time at a great pace. The symmetry in a young boy staring into the nothingness out of the car window is matched in the finale scene where he looks out as the Uber taxi speeds away to drop him at the airport after his one-week-long reunion with Nora in New York, 24 years later. Then their last meeting in a garden on a rainy day as children in Seoul playing hide and seek against a huge stone art installation, and then meeting against the backdrop of a stone structure in New York is another level of symmetry in their lives and beings, one’s longing and another’s belonging matches frame by frame, without missing a beat.

The story pans in and out of Nora’s life as an adult, where she reads Hae Sung’s message on her filmmaker father’s Facebook page and connects online with him after 12 long years of separation. She asks him, why did he look up for her? His response wins (my heart, at least) hands down, “I wanted to see you one more time.” They rekindle that spark of friendship spread across geographies and time zones, but their togetherness across Skype calls gets spaced out and freezes in the frame. A pragmatic Nora realises that she had moved to New York to make a writing career and wouldn’t trade off that ambition at any cost. She decides to focus on her life’s larger goal — the upcoming Artists’ Residency — at the expense of the duo’s what-if relationship status and keeps it on hold till further notice. Hae is devastated and considerably lonely but accepts her childhood buddy’s decision. Their banters and bickerings across the screen make them so adorable as friends who reconnect, albeit virtually, only to separate in the real world once more.
But did this have to happen? It’s a valid question, but perhaps not the most pressing one raised by this delicate and thoughtfully crafted drama that explores how our pasts shape our present realities. It examines when change represents growth and when it masks our true selves. The film contemplates whether life is determined by fate or will, what has permanence, and what is transient. The film delves into these complexities with admirable grace and poise as Nora reflects on how many emotions and missed opportunities have shaped her most cherished desires quite unapologetically. At the same time, Hae seems stuck in the past, looking at everything with nostalgia-tinted glasses.
This movie delves into the captivating storytelling, exceptional performances, and profound themes of identity and destiny portrayed in Song’s masterpiece.
As the story unfolds, Nora emerges as a strong woman character. She embodies resilience, courage, and determination, refusing to let anything restrict her from pursuing her life’s larger goal, and that’s quite stunningly remarkable. A double emigrant who learns to find her roots in a potted plant with her husband, and despite her hardships, learns to forge her path, embracing her inner strength and discovering her true purpose with aplomb. Her character arc highlights the importance of self-discovery and empowerment. From wanting to win the Nobel Prize for Literature as a 12-year-old to win a Booker as an adult and then wishing for the Tony sums her ambition graph.
Within the tapestry of Past Lives, the concept of destiny plays a central role. The characters’ encounters and separations are intricately woven together by a higher force, guiding their lives. Through exploring reincarnation, the story poses thought-provoking questions about the nature of fate, free will, and the enduring power of love. What sustains it? What keeps the sparks alive? What kindles that flame? And how does it all turn into ashes in no time, to rise again, in another space, and in another time?
Amidst the complexities of their love story, the narrative also delves into the power of friendship. The artists’ residency changes the course of Nora’s life. She meets her to-be husband Arthur there and explains In-Yun, and why meeting him is no coincidence for the duo in the first encounter itself. “There’s a word in Korean, In-Yun. It means providence or fate. But it’s specifically about relationships between people. For example, if two strangers walk by each other in the street, and their clothes accidentally brush, that means there have been 8,000 layers of In-Yun between them. That is In Yun.” Each encounter is said to be caused by hidden reasons that began years ago.
Nora and Arthur were meant to meet and hit off instantly. She finds solace in his unwavering support, which strengthens and guides her professional journey. Through their bond, the story showcases the significance of companionship, loyalty, and the ability to overcome challenges together.
His longing to belong in Nora’s world can be gauged from the fact that he is learning a new language to understand Nora’s dreams and sleep talks in Korean because he always felt that there are many places within that are absolutely out of bounds for him due to unfamiliarity with a language. For a fleeting moment, he fears losing her to Hae, Nora’s childhood sweetheart with whom she had reconnected after over two decades. But she handles his misplaced fear and insecurities with trust, places her faith in him, and shows him what his love and life mean to her… he is her world. She manages to assuage untoward and unwanted thoughts of him being an “evil White Husband standing in the way of destiny” with so much grace when she says, “This is my life. This is where I am supposed to be.” The tender moment makes the couple so lovable every which way.
Nora and Hae’s encounters may vary in form and circumstance in their childhood and adulthood, but the underlying connection remains unbroken, leaving them with a lingering sense of familiarity and an unexplainable pull toward one another. Surprisingly Nora though not oblivious to Hae’s affections, is unable to reciprocate because it comes in the way of her life’s larger purpose.
Once in New York, Nora takes Hae sightseeing and hosts him at home with her husband. The In-Yun conversation makes her come back, as if to complete the loop, when Hae wonders and asks Nora, “If you had never left Seoul, would I have still looked for you? Would we have dated? Broken up? Gotten married? Would we have had kids together?” He tells her upfront that maybe she wouldn’t have stayed because she likes to leave. And then, before bidding her goodbye, he asks her again, “If this is their Past Life, what would their next life be like?” None of them have an answer to it. The most heartbreaking scene is the silence between the three characters. Hae leaves while the otherwise calm and composed Nora cries her heart out, unable to hold back the emotional rollercoaster ride spanning a week. Her strength fades away in the flow of her tears, and that’s cathartic for her and her relationships — the one that is with Arthur and the one that could have been with Hae, as Hae had reminded Arthur in the bar that they must also have had some In-Yun as well.

https://www.instagram.com/pastlivesmovie/?hl=en

I. Engaging Storytelling and Cinematic Craftsmanship: “Past Lives” weaves an intricate narrative that seamlessly blends past and present, challenging our perception of time. Celine Song, both writer and director, demonstrates her storytelling prowess by crafting a compelling screenplay that keeps viewers engaged from beginning to end. The film’s exquisite cinematography captures New York like never before, skilful editing, and atmospheric sound design enhance the immersive experience, transporting the audience into the realms of the past lives depicted on screen.

II. Stellar Performances and Emotional Depth: The performances in “Past Lives” are nothing short of exceptional, with each actor bringing depth and authenticity to their characters. The talented ensemble cast delivers nuanced portrayals, effortlessly capturing their respective characters’ complex emotions and internal struggles. Their performances evoke empathy and resonate deeply, adding layers of emotional complexity to the film’s exploration of love, loss, and the eternal cycle of rebirth.

III. Profound Themes of Identity and Destiny: At its core, “Past Lives” delves into profound existential themes, questioning the nature of identity and the role of destiny in shaping our lives. Through its intricate narrative structure, the film challenges conventional notions of time and asks thought-provoking questions about the interconnectedness of past and present. It explores the idea that our actions in past lives reverberate in our current existence, highlighting the inextricable links between our past, present, and future selves.

IV. Critical Acclaim and Audience Reception: Since its release, “Past Lives” has garnered critical acclaim and captivated audiences worldwide. The film has been praised for its innovative storytelling, lyrical visuals, and the profound emotional impact it leaves on viewers. Celine Song’s unique vision and ability to translate complex themes into a relatable and poignant narrative have solidified her status as a rising talent in cinema.

Song’s “Past Lives” is a cinematic masterpiece that transcends the boundaries of time and space, immersing audiences in a contemplative exploration of identity and destiny. The film’s engaging storytelling, stellar performances, and profound themes captivate viewers and leave a lasting impression. As Song continues to establish herself as a visionary filmmaker, Past Lives stands as a testament to her artistic brilliance and ability to provoke introspection and ignite the imagination of audiences worldwide. She has succeeded in taking her viewers on a mesmerising journey through time, blending elements of romance and mysticism, masterfully evoking emotions from heartwarming moments of love and connection to poignant instances of loss, longing, belonging and unbelonging. The film delves deep into the human experience, exploring the profound yearning for connection that transcends time and mortality. Viewers are left contemplating the power of love and the idea of past lives long after the credits roll.

So whether you’re a fan of romance, mysticism, or thought-provoking cinema, Past Lives is a must-watch that will leave you contemplating the mysteries of love and the possibility of eternal connections across lifetimes.
Nora and Hae’s souls are destined to meet and maybe part across multiple lifetimes. But we hope that each time they are reborn, their paths intertwine in unexpected ways, shaping their shared destiny, and giving them everlasting togetherness. After all, All the World Loves Lovers.

(All photos sourced from Past Lives’ instagram handle)

Love is Love

“If it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts,” wrote Leo Tolstoy in Anna Karenina. Love is one complex emotion that has different definitions for different people. Ahead of Valentine’s Day, we delved deep into the love of all kinds, types and hues to explore what the four-letter word means to different people, and in the process, discovered an all-new vocabulary to define LOVE. Every great love starts with a great story, and that’s what connects Rekha and Jameel. If falling in love seemed next to impossible for Rachit, Sapna was determined, and that’s why their love is different. Gazala and Ahmed have evolved over the years, and love is both sweet, sour and spicy for them. For Nimisha and Rohini, love is an unsaid commitment to be with each other, while Manish Gaekwad is still waiting for love to come his way. It means selfless service for Vimla Kaul and giving for Tunisha. It is comforting for Anil and Kritika Rao and evergreen for widow Divya Juyal. But Love is Love for all.

Valentine’s Day special for The Free Press Journal.
https://www.freepressjournal.in/weekend/love-is-love-this-valentines-day-lets-take-a-look-at-love-in-all-its-hues

2021: A year of Love, Labour and Loss

Love is a mystery. Love is unitive. Love is how we connect as human beings with one another and with the whole universe together. Love is how we learn, become better, and make the world a better place to live for us and others. Love needs freedom to breathe, equality to thrive, and openness to flow and grow. Love is personal, political, philosophical, sexual, social, historical, metaphysical, transcendental, et al. Sadly, we have only one word to describe such a complex emotion. The ancient Greeks had six different words, but even that’s not enough. 2021 taught me new ways to describe the complexity of love and its various hues. Love lost on many counts, but it miraculously sprang on a few occasions like a phoenix. My LOVE vocabulary was defined and redefined by people who touched my life one way or another this year.

SHILLPI A SINGH

LOVE IS FAITH: Khrienuo Angami & Akshat Sharma

Kohima girl Khrienuo Angami met Dehradun boy Akshat Sharma at the Naga Students Union Sports Meet at Delhi University’s Hindu College in 2003. “It was a chance meeting for a fleeting moment that was destined to bring two people hailing from different faiths and different states together for a lifetime. There were hiccups, a lot of them, but Que Sera Sera,” recounts Angami with a chuckle.

LOVE IS FAITH: Khrienuo Angami & Akshat Sharma

While Sharma moved to XLRI, Jamshedpur, to pursue MBA, Angami went to Jawaharlal Nehru University for her M.Phil. Angami and Sharma identified each other more with the friend tag, but Cupid had struck them no matter how hard they tried, and they had been swept off their feet. “We started dating each other only in 2007 and informed our respective parents about our plans to get hitched. Well, but it was easier said than done. The opposition was vehement,” says Angami, a Protestant Christian from the Scheduled Tribes in Nagaland, while Sharma is a Brahmin from Uttarakhand.

The family dynamics also played a significant role in paving the way for acceptance. Angami’s three younger brothers rallied around her. They championed the cause of intercaste, interfaith union with all their might, even as her parents and younger sisters chose to oppose the alliance, tooth and nail; they stopped all communication for a year. Being the only child worked in Sharma’s favour, and his parents gave in easily because “his happiness mattered the most to them.” Sharma visited Angami’s folks in Nagaland and tried to win them over to break the ice. He succeeded, and two rounds of talks between their parents over the wedding rituals to be followed happened in Delhi in 2011. “I have four younger siblings, and my parents were worried that I would be ex-communicated from the church if I marry a Hindu. The news would be a big disgrace to the family back in Nagaland. He somehow agreed, but it wasn’t easy to win him over,” recalls Angami.

LOVE IS FAITH: Khrienuo Angami & Akshat Sharma

The couple got married twice – one according to elaborate Hindu rituals and the other under the Special Marriage Act in 2012. Today, their two children follow both religions, and festivals for the Angami-Sharma household are all about fun and food. It’s their faith in love and humanity that keeps them afloat.

Faith makes all things possible… love makes all things easy.

Dwight L. Moody

2021: A year of Love, Labour and Loss

Love is a mystery. Love is unitive. Love is how we connect as human beings with one another and with the whole universe together. Love is how we learn, how we become better, and make the world a better place to live, for us and others. Love needs freedom to breathe, equality to thrive, and openness to flow and grow. Love is personal, political, sexual, philosophical, social, historical, metaphysical, transcendental, et al. Sadly, we have only one word to describe an emotion so complex. The ancient Greeks had six different words, but even that’s not enough. 2021 taught me new ways to describe the complexity of love and its various hues. Love lost on many counts, but like a phoenix, it miraculously sprang on a few occasions. My vocabulary of LOVE was defined and redefined by people who touched my life one way or another this year.

shillpi a singh

LOVE IS GRIEF: Dr Amit Gupta

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Lao Tzu

While graduating from a medical school, like others of his ilk, Dr Amit Gupta, 39, must have also taken the Hippocratic oath to consecrate his life to the service of humanity and make the health of his patient his first consideration. Little did he know that years later, the oath would be put to test by COVID-19. Dr Gupta is one among those 1,492 doctors, who lived every word of this pledge while being on duty during the first and second waves in India and sadly succumbed to coronavirus infection, according to data released by the Indian Medical Association earlier this year. They are our frontline health workers, our real-life heroes who bravely served their patients without caring for their lives and eventually lost the battle for breath.

LOVE IS GRIEF: DR AMIT GUPTA


It was on April 18, 2021, senior resident Dr Gupta of Satyawadi Raja Harishchandra Hospital (SRCH) in Narela, New Delhi, returned home after being on duty for 80 hours at a stretch. He was doing his job with utmost sincerity. The second wave of COVID-19 was at its peak. Clad in a PPE suit in that sweltering heat, he was there in the hospital, round the clock, and contracted COVID-19 while serving other patients. In spite of his busy schedule, he never forgot to check on others in his family and friend circle who were COVID infected, sending them medical advice and medications as well. The hospitals across the country were fast running out of beds, and oxygen cylinders were scarce, but the doctors were still keeping their chin up and busy fighting the war against the deadly virus, clinging on to hope to save as many lives as possible.
Dr Gupta was initially hospitalised at SRCH for a few days, and then at a private hospital in his neighbourhood, and from there moved to Medanta Gurgaon. The virus had severely damaged his lungs by then. The doctors suggested that he required extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO) support. His family decided to take him to a hospital in Secunderabad early in May.
Meanwhile, on May 18, 2021, Delhi government health minister Satyendar Jain announced that “the state government would bear the entire cost of treatment because Corona warriors are our strength.”

The Hon’ble minister’s promise gave Dr Gupta’s family immense support, but the official procedures were tardy, and the clearance of bills took longer than usual. The family was back to square one. They were still running helter and skelter, borrowing money from friends, relatives to meet this unforeseen medical emergency. “We spent our entire savings, took huge loans to cater to the medical expenses. Desperate for financial assistance, we even started a fundraising campaign, till the state government cleared a part of the promised amount, and that too after National Human Rights Commission’s intervention,” says his wife, Dr Srishti Mittal.

LOVE IS GRIEF: Dr Srishti Mittal and Dr Amit Gupta

Dr Gupta’s deteriorating condition and the mounting expenses were a cause of concern for the family, but they hoped for the better. “That may be the treatment would work, and he would be fit as a fiddle, if not today, maybe tomorrow for sure. We took loans from all possible quarters hoping to return when the Government would clear our bills because they had promised to do so,” adds Mittal.


The treating doctors in Secunderabad advised lung transplant, and the family left no stone unturned to arrange the organ. The transplant was successful, but the post-operation complications bothered the recovery of Dr Gupta. After a courageous four-month-long battle, he gave up and left for his heavenly abode on August 14, 2021. He is survived by his wife, son, and elderly parents.

DR AMIT GUPTA WHILE HE WAS HOSPITALISED.

Dr Mittal has resumed duty at SRCH, serving patients just like before, deeply engrossed in work, working in shifts, and living up to the Hippocratic oath. It is the same place where she once worked with her life partner, Dr Gupta. Her co-traveller abandoned the journey mid-way, leaving her all alone to put up a strong fight on all fronts, professional as well as personal, but that hasn’t deterred her. She is fighting to clear the debts amounting to Rs 1 crore 67 lakh by following up with the government officials, and once that is done, she will live on for the couple’s little boy and his elderly parents.

Her decision to return to work at SRCH is perhaps a way to beat the deep grief that is like a river — ebbs and flows. It is the last act of love that we give to our loved ones. It is never one thing. It deposits the memory of the past as sediments one day; it eats it away as a shark the next. But it is never one thing. Grief is but non-linear, spread over as carpet of our desire kept under the circumstances: grief ebbs and flows.

Grief is like love. It is a burden and a privilege as well. It is the ache of longing for all that is lost but seeing through the darkness of death, Dr Srishti Mittal is living with gratitude for the gift of time and love she shared with Dr Amit Gupta, and that alone gives her the courage to live on.

Love Appy-ily

Two conscientious individuals have leveraged technology to launch Made In India dating and matrimonial apps for the LGBTQ+ community.

The Pride Month special article was carried in The Free Press Journal, edition dated June 13, 2021; https://www.freepressjournal.in/weekend/pride-month-2021-scrolling-through-made-in-india-dating-and-matrimonial-apps-for-the-lgbtq-community)