Tag Archives: dating

Have you been ghosted?

Ghosting is a distressing phenomenon that has become increasingly prevalent in modern relationships. Ghosting refers to the sudden and unexplained disappearance of one person from another’s life, leaving the recipient confused, hurt, and questioning what went wrong. 

  1. Defining Ghosting: Ghosting refers to abruptly and intentionally cutting off all communication with someone, typically without any explanation or warning. It is a form of silent rejection where one party ceases all contact and disappears from the other person’s life, leaving them feeling abandoned and uncertain about what went wrong. Ghosting can occur in various relationship contexts, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and even professional relationships.
  2. Implications of Ghosting: Ghosting can have significant emotional and psychological implications for the individuals involved. The sudden and unexplained communication withdrawal can lead to feelings of rejection, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. The lack of closure and unanswered questions can cause confusion and make moving on from the relationship challenging. Ghosting can also erode trust and make individuals hesitant to invest in future relationships.
  3. Reasons Behind Ghosting: While the motivations for ghosting can vary, some common reasons include fear of confrontation, avoidance of difficult conversations, lack of interest or connection, and a desire to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings. Sometimes, individuals may resort to ghosting to assert control or avoid accountability for their actions. However, it’s important to note that ghosting is not an acceptable or healthy way to end a relationship.
  4. Impact on Mental Well-being: The emotional toll of being ghosted can be significant. The lack of closure and unanswered questions can lead to sadness, anger, and rejection. This can harm mental well-being, causing individuals to question their self-worth and leading to increased anxiety and depression. It is crucial to prioritize self-care, seek support from friends and family, and consider professional help if needed to navigate the emotional aftermath of being ghosted.
  5. Healthy Communication and Relationship Building: Fostering open and honest communication is paramount to prevent and address ghosting. By expressing needs, boundaries, and expectations early on, individuals can establish a foundation of trust and mutual understanding. It is essential to create a safe space for difficult conversations and to approach relationship issues with empathy and respect. Cultivating healthy communication skills and promoting transparency can contribute to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

But how do you spot if you have been ghosted? What are the ways to deal with ghosting to protect oneself from heartbreak? Let’s explore practical strategies to navigate this distressing dating and relationship phenomenon.

Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms of Ghosting: When you suspect you’re being ghosted, watch out for these common signs and symptoms:

  • Sudden and prolonged silence: The person stops responding to messages, calls, or any form of communication without any valid explanation.
  • Frequent cancellations: Plans are frequently cancelled at the last minute, with excuses becoming more frequent and less plausible.
  • Lack of engagement: The person becomes disinterested and shows reduced enthusiasm in conversations and spending time together.
  • Disappearing from social media: They stop interacting on social media platforms or delete their presence altogether.

Coping Strategies for Dealing with Ghosting: 

a. Give it time: Allow yourself to process the emotions of being ghosted. Allow yourself to feel hurt, but avoid dwelling on it for an extended period. 

b. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends or family members to share your feelings and gain perspective. Their support can provide comfort and help you gain clarity. 

c. Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and boost your self-esteem. Exercise, practice mindfulness, pursue hobbies, and invest time in personal growth. 

d. Avoid blame: Refrain from blaming yourself for being ghosted. Remember that ghosting is a reflection of the other person’s behaviour and not a reflection of your worth.

Preventing Heartbreak and Minimizing the Risk of Ghosting: 

a. Set clear expectations: Establish open and honest communication from the beginning of a relationship, discussing expectations, boundaries, and the importance of respectful communication. 

b. Take it slow: Avoid quickly rushing into an intense emotional connection. Gradually build trust and understanding to reduce the chances of being ghosted.

c. Be observant: Pay attention to the person’s consistency, actions, and communication patterns. Red flags such as evasiveness or a lack of effort may indicate a higher likelihood of ghosting. 

d. Trust your instincts: Trust your intuition if something feels off or inconsistent. If the person’s behaviour raises concerns, addressing them early on is essential to avoid future heartbreak.

Ghosting can be a painful and confusing experience, but recognizing the signs, employing coping strategies, and taking preventive measures can protect yourself from unnecessary heartbreak. Remember to prioritize your emotional well-being, focus on self-care, and surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family. Promoting healthy communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care are key to creating fulfilling relationships and preventing the emotional turmoil of ghosting. Remember, everyone deserves respect and consideration, even when relationships end.

Beware of breadcrumbers! A toxic lot, they can leave a relationship starving.

In the realm of modern dating and relationships, breadcrumbing has emerged as a common and frustrating practice. Breadcrumbing refers to the practice of intermittently giving attention, communication, or affection to someone while lacking genuine intentions for a committed relationship. Discover how breadcrumbing keeps individuals on the periphery, with sporadic messages, occasional dates, and displays of affection that lead nowhere. Whether experienced in online or offline relationships, breadcrumbing can leave you feeling confused and emotionally drained.

Signs and Symptoms of Breadcrumbing: Recognizing the signs of breadcrumbing is crucial to protect yourself from potential heartbreak. Understand the common indicators of this practice:

  1. Inconsistent communication: Breadcrumbers engage in sporadic texting or messaging, making you wait for their responses or providing vague replies.
  2. Mixed signals: They send flirtatious or affectionate messages, but their actions contradict their words. Their interest and commitment may fluctuate.
  3. Lack of initiation: Breadcrumbers rarely take the lead in progressing the relationship or initiating plans, relying on you to maintain the connection.
  4. Minimal effort: They invest minimal effort into the relationship, such as occasional compliments, infrequent dates, or superficial conversations.
  5. Excuses and postponements: Breadcrumbers frequently cancel plans or make excuses to avoid committing to future arrangements, leaving you feeling frustrated and uncertain.

Safeguarding Against Breadcrumbing: Protecting yourself from breadcrumbing requires awareness and proactive steps. Implement the following strategies:

  1. Recognize the signs: Educate yourself about the signs of breadcrumbing to identify if you are experiencing it. Awareness is key to protecting yourself.
  2. Trust your intuition: Listen to your instincts. If something feels inconsistent or off, address your concerns with the other person and trust your inner voice.
  3. Communicate your expectations: Be clear about your desires and intentions. Openly communicate your needs and boundaries to filter out potential breadcrumbers.
  4. Set boundaries: Establish and assertively communicate your boundaries. Breadcrumbers thrive on relationship ambiguity, so defining your limits can deter such behaviour.
  5. Focus on reciprocity: Assess if the other person reciprocates your efforts and interest. A healthy relationship requires equal investment from both parties.
  6. Prioritize self-care: Invest time and energy in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize personal growth to build resilience and self-worth.
  7. Don’t settle for breadcrumbs: Recognize your value and worth. Refuse to accept half-hearted attention or inconsistent behaviour. Be willing to walk away from relationships that do not meet your needs.
  8. Take time for reflection: Step back and reflect on the relationship if you suspect breadcrumbing. Assess if it aligns with your long-term goals and values.
  9. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to share your experiences and gain perspective. Having a support system provides guidance and emotional support during challenging times.

Understanding breadcrumbing and implementing strategies to safeguard yourself can protect your emotional well-being and cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Remember, you deserve genuine love and commitment, not mere breadcrumbs. Safeguard your heart and navigate breadcrumbing with confidence.

Love Bombing: The Destructive Charm That Leaves Hearts Shattered

“The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.”

Bob Marley

Love bombing, a manipulative tactic used in relationships, can leave individuals emotionally shattered. This deceptive practice involves an intense showering of affection, attention, appreciation, and grand gestures that quickly captivate the victim. However, beneath the surface, love bombing conceals a darker intention—to gain control and power over the unsuspecting target. In this feature, we explore the phenomenon of love bombing and its devastating effects and provide insights into healing from its aftermath.

Love Bombing is a Psychological Deception: Love bombing is a term coined to describe a manipulative tactic employed by individuals with narcissistic or abusive tendencies. Research suggests that love bombers strategically employ excessive displays of affection, constant communication, lavish gifts, and flattery to overwhelm and captivate their targets. This overwhelming flood of positive attention and validation creates a false sense of security, deep emotional connection, and dependency within the victim.

The Devastating Effects of Love Bombing: While love bombing may initially feel like a whirlwind romance, the aftermath can be catastrophic. Victims of love bombing often find themselves emotionally shattered when the charade unravels. Research indicates that the abrupt withdrawal of affection and the unveiling of the abuser’s true intentions can lead to severe emotional trauma, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and a distorted perception of love and relationships. The deceptive nature of love bombing makes it particularly damaging as victims struggle to reconcile the intense love they experienced with the painful reality they face.

Recognizing the Signs of Love Bombing: Awareness is crucial in identifying and escaping the clutches of love bombing. Some common signs of love bombing include:

  1. Excessive flattery and constant praise.
  2. Overwhelming attention and rapid progression in the relationship.
  3. Isolation from friends and family creating dependency on the love bomber.
  4. Frequent grand gestures and gifts to win affection and control.
  5. Emotional manipulation and control tactics.

Healing and Recovery: Recovering from the aftermath of the love bombing requires time, self-reflection, and support. Here are some strategies to aid in healing:

  1. Self-Care and Self-Compassion: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your emotional well-being. Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that you deserve love and respect.
  2. Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can provide understanding and guidance throughout the healing process. Sharing your experiences with others can help validate your emotions and regain a sense of empowerment.
  3. Set Boundaries: Establish and enforce healthy boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation. Learn to recognize and prioritize your needs and emotions.
  4. Professional Help: Consider seeking therapy or counselling to process the trauma and regain emotional stability. A mental health professional can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs.

Moving Forward with Empowered Love 

Recovering from love bombing involves rediscovering your self-worth and rebuilding trust in yourself and others. Remembering that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine care is essential. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the healing journey and focus on personal growth.

Love bombing may leave individuals shattered, but with awareness, support, and self-care, it is possible to reclaim personal power and rebuild a healthier future. Recognising the signs of love bombing and taking proactive steps towards healing, survivors can learn to differentiate between genuine love and manipulative tactics. Remember, you deserve love and respect that is authentic, nurturing, and built on trust. Embrace the healing journey, and let it catalyse growth, resilience, and empowered love.

References:

  1. Stines, S. (2016). Love Bombing: An Early Warning Sign That You’re Dating a Narcissist. Psych Central. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/love-bombing-an-early-warning-sign-that-youre-dating-a-narcissist#1
  2. Dixon, L. J., Hamilton-Giachritsis, C., Browne, K. D., & Ostapuik, E. (2005). The co-occurrence of child and intimate partner maltreatment in the family: Characteristics of the violent perpetrators. Journal of Family Violence, 20(6), 377-387.

Love Appy-ily

Two conscientious individuals have leveraged technology to launch Made In India dating and matrimonial apps for the LGBTQ+ community.

The Pride Month special article was carried in The Free Press Journal, edition dated June 13, 2021; https://www.freepressjournal.in/weekend/pride-month-2021-scrolling-through-made-in-india-dating-and-matrimonial-apps-for-the-lgbtq-community)